December 24, 2008

Boris Johnson

from The Perils of the Pushy Parents

One Christmas in the usual way
The school put on a touching play
To mark Our Lord’s nativity
Young Molly was enthralled to be
Elected by her cheering class
To play the reasr end of the ASS
‘What DO you mean?’ cried Molly’s mum.
‘They’ve made you act a donkey’s bum?
How dare they force my little lass
to imitate as ass’s ass?
We rather hoped the BBC
Would hire you as a news trainee.
And after that it’s our intent
To shove you into parliament.
Up the greasy pole – and then
Propel you into Number 10!
But as it is your school, God rot ’em.
Potrays you as some dobbin’s bottom.
What kind of university
Wants “donkey bum” on your CV?’
Before the girl could disabuse her
Mum had found the show’s producer
And as a stork devours a frog
She seized the trembling pedagogue.
Quite what she whispered in his ear
I cannot say and yet I fear
It must have been extremely scary
He sacked the pupil playing Mary
And handing her a donkey’s tail
He hushed her unbelieving wail:
‘Can it kiddo, you’re a gonner.
We’re casting Molly as Madonna!’

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